tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-340822062024-03-08T06:25:08.565-08:00anchorWe have this hope as an anchor for the soul, safe and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary, behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf... Hebrews 6:19-20Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-59393964933751095242008-05-30T21:36:00.000-07:002008-05-30T21:48:26.318-07:00Eternity - Misty Edwards<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family:'Trebuchet MS';font-size:13px;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Eternity's eternal song, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Is drawing me away, it's calling me away </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">It's calling me away</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">All flesh is grass, fading away. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Only You last, only You remain </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">All flesh is grass, fading away. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Only You last, only You remain the same, You never change.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Holy, holy, holy, You are fairer than then sons of men</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Trebuchet MS';"></span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Eternity's eternal song, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Is drawing me away, it's calling me away </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">It's calling me away</span></span></span></p></span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Eternity's eternal song, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Is drawing me away, it's calling me away It's calling me away</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Surely man is like the flower of the field, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">And life is but a vapor, at best but a vapor. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Surely man is like a flower of the field, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">And the fragrance but a vapor, at best but a vapor.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">But you O God, Are better than a thousand blooms. </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Hallelujah, Amen! Hallelujah Amen!</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Hallelujah Amen! Hallelujah Amen!</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Hallelujah Amen! Hallelujah Amen!</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Eternities Eternity's eternal song, </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Is drawing me away, it's calling me away </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">It's calling me away</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 10pt; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Eternity's eternal song</span></span></span><br /></p>Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-58827785641067993782008-05-02T22:37:00.000-07:002008-05-02T23:13:39.974-07:00i am...... officially exhausted.<div><br /></div><div>Today was "the great dorm move-out." </div><div><br /></div><div>The past two days I have discovered that I have WAY too much stuff! Call me a pack-rat, but I hold on to things. While moving today I found cards, notes, bank statements, my college acceptance letter, and more. I am the sentimental type. I am also the type to try and learn something from everything. Today, I realized how much I hold on to, and also, how much I have let go of.</div><div><br /></div><div>I, as of Thursday, have completed my junior year of nursing school. I cannot express the amount of accomplishment I feel. This year has, by far, been the hardest of them all - nursing and the rest of my life. My nursing class lost about fifteen people due to failure to make adequate test grades. My emotions have been a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">roller coaster</span> ride. My heart has sustained break, re-break, disappointment, joy, and now contentment. Sometimes I still freak out a little. Growing up is never easy. Independence can be a lonely road. I know this full well. I have let go of a lot to pursue this nursing shindig. I left home, friends, people I care about - all to follow this dream of mine. I believe it's going to be worth it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I seem to keep getting reminders that God has me in His hands. I need not worry about anything. I am ready for this summer. I believe it is going to be another season of change for me. However, this time - this summer - is going to be different. I am passionate about pouring my heart into worship again. I believe God is going to pull some things out of me through it. I am excited to see growth in my walk with God, and in myself. I am ready to grow up a little more. No more messing around.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>With that said, I'm going to go to bed now. </div><div><br /></div>Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-60909798117141201062008-02-23T22:31:00.000-08:002008-02-23T22:48:06.255-08:00We shall see...There is this little thing called fear that creeps up on me every now and then. Today, I was caught off guard by it. The reason...<div><br /></div><div>I used to be the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. At any moment you could look at me and see my thoughts written on my face. I could say anything to anyone without thinking about what it might mean. I threw my heart at a boy without a care, or a thought that it might not be safe with him. Maybe it was safe at the time, but I eventually found out that it wasn't. Ever since then I have been so guarded. I wear a mask with guys. I am guilty of leading a few of them on. I hate to disappoint. </div><div><br /></div><div>My dilemma is that I actually, genuinely like someone right now, but I am terrified of saying so - at least to his face. My expectations are very high. I am picky. I know what I am looking for in someone I want to end up with. I refuse to ever settle again. I just don't want to get my heart broken. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, here is this fear looming over me. Fear that I will not be good enough. Fear that I will, or he will fall short of expectations. Fear that things might actually go well. </div><div><br /></div><div>I guess we shall see...</div>Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-82733080502590144002007-12-29T20:48:00.001-08:002007-12-29T21:51:17.456-08:00This and That.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">1. I am home from college for Christmas break. There is a reoccurring theme in coming home. It is like I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I really do not think I know how to rest. At school I am always running around. I have a purpose. At home I get bored and feel aimless. Don't get me wrong!!! This break was much needed and I am enjoying my family and my own bed. Still, I believe I feel this way because I am not meant to be home at this point in my life. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">2. I am going to be in a wedding tomorrow. One of my best friends from high school is tying the knot with an amazing man. I am so excited for this new season in their relationship! Congratulations John and Leah!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">3. On the topic of relationships...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There is no one in particular that has captivated my attention at this moment in time. I must admit I struggle in the relationship area. I am very picky and it takes me a long time to trust people with my heart, so I just don't give it away. I think it is hard to do so when you've gotten burned in the past. I am working on letting go of things I have been so angry about for so long. I think there is still some healing taking place in my mind and heart. I am figuring out how to deal with the insecurities I have about myself. So, for now I am taking it easy. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">4. I love God so much! He always knows what I need. The other night I almost lost it! I was lonely and frustrated. God was there, as he always is. I know that He loves me fully and that there is no one that can fill my heart like He does. Sometimes I forget that He holds the world in His hands and that He created me for a divine purpose! I am needed for His plan to be fulfilled on this earth. I am amazed at the grace I am given through Jesus! I rejoice at the sound of His voice and find peace in His presence. I was talking to a friend about Heaven today and how marvelous it is going to be to sing "Hosanna!" with the angels, to walk next to Jesus, and to experience life without pain and suffering! I cannot wait for Jesus to return and call His people home.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">5. I like to throw in a little review every now and then...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I was surfing through </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">iTunes</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> to spend the $15 gift card I got in my stocking this Christmas when I stumbled upon Ian McIntosh. He is a Christian artist with a unique style. The music consists of a lot of piano and electric guitars. When I first heard it I thought of Jason Upton worship and </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sigur</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> Ros. The lyrics are like most Christian music lyrics. The concepts are not anything new or unheard of. I enjoy the songs because they fit where I am at right now. The album "Awakened" reflects a heart longing to be filled and loved again being awakened by the greatest love, the Creator. The songs "Fully Loved" and "Made to Love" are encouraging because they speak the truth about God's love for us and His purpose for our lives. The progression of the album is a lost and broken spirit that calls upon the Lord to heal the hurt and rejection that is awakened to the glory of Father! The final song on the album is called "Adoration", which exemplifies joy, peace, and thankfulness. Check him out!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" white-space: pre-wrap; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.myspace.com/ianmcintoshworship"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img src="http://www.ianmcintoshworship.com/ianbanner.jpg" width="450" border="0" /></span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 3px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 3px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">6. Enjoy this random blog. = )</span></span></div>Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-17268816163264445812007-11-26T19:50:00.002-08:002007-11-26T20:02:44.528-08:00Life.Oh the joys of growing up. The excitement and strain of college life mixed with a thousand emotions and roller coaster circumstances keeps me on my toes. I can only look back and laugh at the way things have turned out thus far. I have managed to become this woman who loves God with her whole heart, who is plowing through Nursing school, and whose dreams are bigger and more impossible than ever. My desire for love and family grows every day, but I am learning how to trust God with this part of my story. So many times I wish that I could just know where I'll be in the next few years. I wish I could say I was patient enough for God to reveal the amazing plans he has. Again, I am learning. <div><br /></div><div>The beauty of right now is that I have come to a place where I feel I have developed a little self-control and diligence. Self-control in trying to give my heart away is a new thing I am grasping. Diligence in my walk with God and in my studies has caused trust to grow and my grades to go up. I feel a little more satisfied with who I am every day. I feel more competent and less confused. I am excited for the things to come. </div><div><br /></div><div>Just a short note to update you on my silly life. </div>Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-13832108701154827812007-11-26T19:33:00.000-08:002007-11-26T19:49:27.528-08:00A little review.<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 9px; white-space: pre; "><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/John-Mayer-sb04.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /></a></span><br /></div><div>I have been listening to The Village Sessions by John Mayer tonight. I love the acoustic style of the songs on this album. It really makes the lyrics seem more personal. Have a listen.<br /></div>Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-46549941210231056912007-11-09T10:52:00.000-08:002007-11-09T11:43:25.916-08:00to be like her...I have been reading a lot in Esther and in Ruth lately. I am amazed at the amount of encouragement I have received from their stories. I feel that right now in my life God is restoring my strength as a woman. He is helping me through a time of significant transformation. This time of rebuilding who I am in Him has been painful, but I am confident that His plan will be revealed to me through it. Today, I would like to talk about some of the lessons I am learning through these virtuous women.<br /><br />Esther is my favorite female character in the Bible. Her strength, courage, and boldness inspire me to be like her. Esther was an incredibly beautiful Jewish woman. Her parents died when she was very young, so she was raised by Mordecai, her cousin. When King Xerxes' wife refused Him, one of his nobles suggested that the King send out an edict that brought many young women to the palace for a chance to become the new Queen. Esther was one of the women chosen. The Bible says, in Esther 2, that Esther found favor with the King's council, and she underwent twelve months of beautification treatments before she could be presented to King Xerxes. She also found favor with him. Esther's cousin, Mordecai, came to her with news that one of Xerxes officials was trying to kill all the Jews in the land. It was Esther who went to King Xerxes (which is punishable by death if not summoned by him) and requested that her people be saved. She even said, "If I perish, I perish" (Esther 3:16). The King spared her life and her people. There is a part of the story where Mordecai is asking Esther to approach the King. He says to her that she was placed in her situation of power "for such a time as this" (Esther 3:14). God gave her favor with the King in order to save her people.<br /><br />Ruth was a Moabite woman. She lived with her husband and his family. She was very close with her mother-in-law, Naomi. Naomi's husband died, and then Ruth's husband died, and then Ruth's sister-in-law's husband died. The three women were left with nothing. Naomi urged both of her daughters-in-law to go back to their families, and hopefully then, they would remarry. Ruth's sister-in-law complied, but Ruth was faithful to stay with Naomi. Ruth and Naomi went back to Moab, where they me Boaz, a relative of Naomi's husband. Ruth went out into his fields and gathered the leftover harvest. Boaz was pleased with her faithfulness and her desire to be a servant. At the end of the story, Boaz marries Ruth and restores her family's home.<br /><br />I want to be like Esther. I want to sacrifice myself for others, step out in authority and boldness, and walk in favor everywhere I go. I want to be like Ruth, serving others and finding restoration. I want to be like Naomi; stripped of everything I have (even though it is hard) in order to inherit the blessings God has for me. I want to be a virtuous woman, striving to walk out God's plan for my life. I want to see what He sees in me. I want to get so lost in Him that people have to search His heart to find mine. <br /><br />The past few weeks have been extremely difficult. God really is stripping me of everything I rely on in order to find Him. My heart has been shattered and stepped on. My emotions have been overwhelming. I have been depressed and bitter. My self-esteem has been crumbling beneath me. My computer crashed. My iPod broke. My finances are a mess. I have been trying to keep my head above the water, so I don't drown in circumstances. I have found myself crying out to God to rescue me, but for a while he has been so silent. God, what should I do?<br /><br />The encouragement I have received from Him is to continue to be faithful. God wants me to be faithful to Him and where He has placed me. Like Esther, I am where I am for such a time as this. Like Ruth followed Naomi, I want to follow Jesus. Like Naomi, I want to press on in the midst of the trouble. I am learning to praise God in the middle of hell, to never give up hope, to remember that He loves me. As Oral Roberts would say, "God is a good God!" <br /><br />I am being refined by fire. God, may I come out of this more beautiful than I have ever been before!Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-24286693819375186682007-10-27T18:47:00.000-07:002007-10-27T19:31:14.900-07:00Sell Myself.There are a lot of things about God and about life that I do not understand right now. I am amazed at the immense amount of pain I have suffered in my life, and at the same time bitter about it. I love God with all my heart, but have struggled this week to feel like he cares anything about me. I know in my head that he cares. My heart is having a little harder of a time believing it. I feel like a salesperson. 'Hi! My name is Amber. This is who I am. Is it good enough for you?' Lately, it seems no one is interested in what I have to offer. I hate to admit it, but I am beginning to doubt myself. It is hard to be obedient to God and not see any fruit produced. I ask Him to speak. There just aren't any answers for me at this time. God is silent, and I am still waiting to hear from Him. I am ready for some life in this body, mind, and heart. Where is the joy? Where is the hope spoken of in Jeremiah 29:11? Where is the glory spoken of in Psalm 73? Where is the boldness of Esther that was spoken over my life? Where is the destiny that brought me to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ORU</span> found...not just the career, but the calling of God? When will God's glorious plan be revealed in me? I am gripping my faith right now. I know God will come through somehow, but when?Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-34488422730741812992007-09-30T11:24:00.000-07:002007-09-30T12:04:45.876-07:00Finally...I have been feeling so uninspired to write for a while. It is not that I don't want to write. I have just felt like I have nothing useful to contribute. Before, when I would write blogs, I would throw caution to the wind! I wrote passionately about my life and about truth. Lately, I have been writing blogs, but not publishing any of them because I fear no one will care, or that my writing will be judged. Writing is an outlet of the heart. If my writing is judged, so is my heart. So, here I go again...with passion.<br /><br />I am a woman. Like most women, I find myself worrying all the time about the future. I am in no hurry to settle down as of now, but I get lonely sometimes. I have a little more than a year and a half of nursing school left. How on earth will I get all this work done? How will I pass Pharmacology? My stress load is insane. My family and friendships are so important to me; I have to schedule time to spend with the people I love. The ease of general education classes is gone. Staying up late to make music videos with the girls is a rare occurrence these days. I am tired...so tired.<br /><br />It is in the midst of this exhaustion that I find I need God closer. I struggle including him in my busy schedule. I love Him SO much, and I want to spend more time with Him. I also have a hard time trusting Him sometimes. I have a heart <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">bursting</span> with desire! I ask, "God! When will I sing to you again? When will your promises manifest? When will I see the fruit of my labor?" How do I trust God when He is so silent - when the plan He has is different from the one I have? How do I give up control?<br /><br />I spent about an hour the other day wrestling with God over an issue I have dealt with for the past few years. It is so hard to let go of a dream that was so close to coming true. It is difficult to see past the now, and to look toward what will be. Anyway, it took me the entire hour to give it to God completely. I finally loosened my grip, and I let Him take it. It is amazing the amount of relief I felt afterward. Now, I look back over the past few days and see that problems are so much bigger when we try to solve them without God. I feel like I can breathe now. I feel like I can trust a little more today. I will be able to trust even more as I continue to seek Him.<br /><br />I love Jeremiah 29:11-14. This is the message version of the passage.<br /><br />I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">disappointed</span>. " God's Decree.<br /><br />I hear from God through worship and through others. Sometimes when He is trying to get a point across to me He does it through repetition. I'll hear the same teaching on a subject in multiple places. All I have been hearing lately is about surrendering my life to God, and letting Him direct the path I am on. Not only this, but also to walk in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">confidence</span> in who He has made me to be, and called me to be. I am tired of inadequacy. It is such a huge lie! I'm done with comparing myself to others, and feeling like I'm less than they are. I don't care if my writing is judged. My heart is on a platter and I am offering it to anyone needing a little encouragement during this time.<br /><br />I love the song that says, "I am running, running after you. You've become my soul's delight." As of now, I am sprinting toward the heart of God. My hope is to hear, and feel, and know His heartbeat. Whether through nursing, or worship, or encouraging others, He is the reason I live.<br /><br />Finally.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-65171868557095303932007-07-17T18:25:00.000-07:002007-07-17T18:37:25.687-07:00rusty...summer randomness...and thankfulnessI admit I am rusty at this whole writing thing. If you think I'm lying - check out the date on my last post! Wow. June 6, 2007. Way to go, Amber!<br /><br />This summer has flown by. I knew it would. Summer just isn't the same as it used to be. It used to seem like the days of going to the pool every day and eating freezer pops on the burning sidewalk would never end. Time just keeps passing so fast now.<br /><br />My friend Erika from Nursing school came to visit. We ran all over this amazing city and through the mountains, saw an amazing show, visited an amusement park, and ate until we could not possibly eat anymore! I am so blessed to have such amazing, lifelong friends.<br /><br />It is not possible to look at my life and not see how much God has really done for me. As we were driving through the mountains my heart felt the heartbeat of God. The depths of his beauty and creativity left me speechless. We climbed up to a waterfall that overlooked the entire mountain range. Wow! God, you are so good!!<br /><br />I recognize the randomness of this blog, but I thought I would attempt to get back into this. So, there you have it! Rusty, Summer Randomness, and Thankfulness...all in the same post!Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-77484769460279687112007-06-06T00:44:00.000-07:002007-06-06T01:43:05.314-07:00Get this...I have been contemplating the past few days about Religion vs. Anti-Religion. I can honestly say I am sick of hearing accusations either way. I'll give some examples and then a piece of my mind.<br /><br /><strong>Religion</strong><br /><br />re·li·gion [ <a href="http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/dictionary/Pronounce.aspx?search=religion">ri líjjən</a> ] (plural re·li·gions)<br />noun<br /><br />Definition:<br /><br />1. beliefs and worship: people's beliefs and opinions concerning the existence, nature, and worship of a deity or deities, and divine involvement in the universe and human life<br /><br />2. system: an institutionalized or personal system of beliefs and practices relating to the divine<br /><br />3. personal beliefs or values: a set of strongly-held beliefs, values, and attitudes that somebody lives by<br /><br />It is my opinion that my generation is anti-religion. We focus so much on avoiding looking "religious" because we think it makes us <span style="color:#000000;"><span style="color:#000066;">unable to relate to the world.</span><br /></span><br />I have heard references to religion in the context of legalism. Legalism implies that one does everything right within a moral or religious code. In this case, being religious is undesirable. Religion is viewed as an out-dated extreme.<br /><br />On the other hand, it is the trend to be anti-religious. I heard this said once, "I would rather live on the borderline of being worldly so people can relate to me than get caught up in religion." Anti-religion, in my opinion is another extreme. It is happening more and more in my generation that people are falling into sin so they can "relate". Of course they can relate. They are being like the world! Anti-religion is becoming deception. It is an excuse Christians use to justify their actions.<br /><br />I once believed this way. I thought that my testimony wouldn't mean anything to people because I hadn't gone through sin and hell, and been miraculously transformed. I grew up in the church. I was the girl that never wanted to get in trouble. I believed that I had to get into crap to relate to the world. A friend of mine pointed out to me that it is a huge testimony to live as Christ has called me to live. To live consistently with God's law on my heart, and to do right by avoiding sin shows people that "it can be done!" A life lived for Jesus is possible.<br /><br />Here is what I think: The Bible does talk about not being religious. It is my understanding though that in the context of not being religious is the underlying message that God looks at the heart, not the works we do. Works don't make God love us. Works aren't what God is looking for.<br /><br />In the story of Cain and Abel it wasn't necessarily the offering that was given that pleased God. It was the heart of worship and reverence behind the offering that made God happy. It was the fact that Abel gave God the best of his flocks because he loved him, not because he was trying to be the better brother.<br /><br />Being anti-religious is also not what God is looking for. Hating religious practices, and people for doing them is not the answer. My pastor at church said this last Sunday: "We are not God's appointed Sin Police." I would add that we are not the "Religion Police." God didn't put us on this earth to condemn others. He alone is the only one to judge. He WILL judge the hearts of hypocritical, arrogant Christians just as he will judge the unsaved.<br /><br />I read a familiar few verses tonight. Matthew 22:36-39 says this:<br /><br />36"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[<a title="See footnote b" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=47&chapter=22&version=31&context=chapter#fen-NIV-23908b">b</a>] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[<a title="See footnote c" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=47&chapter=22&version=31&context=chapter#fen-NIV-23910c">c</a>]<br /><br />This, I believe is how we are supposed to live. Not as religious or anti-religious, but loving God and each other. If our hearts are right with God our actions will be in accordance with His Word. There is a balance between legalism and worldly. God has given us the grace to mess up, but also the Word to live by. Should we take every scripture verse literally? No. We should, however, seek to understand God's heart and intentions for us in the scriptures.<br /><br />It does not surprise me that the world is confused by Christians.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-84982752692560743292007-06-03T23:14:00.000-07:002007-06-03T23:39:19.901-07:00Won't Back Down"Won't Back Down" – Mat Kearny<br /><br />You woke the morning up<br />Running off my darkest night<br />The longest fight I've seen<br /><br />Here goes a chance I know<br />Cashing in on all my chips<br />Let all my ships come fly<br /><br />These days, a little bit longer than the last<br />And all of your ways, a little bit stronger than the past<br />And your light, found my bottle in the night<br />Gave me second life, kept me in this fight<br /><br />And I won't back down<br />I won't turn around and around<br />And I won't back down<br />Doesn't matter what comes crashing down<br />I'm still gonna stand my solid ground<br /><br />You found me once and for all<br />I laid it down in the sinking ground<br />The hopeless undertow<br /><br />Singing out the gentle sound<br />Rattling through my smoking screens<br />My broken dreams last night<br /><br />These days, a little bit longer than the last<br />And all of your ways, a little bit stronger than the past<br />And all of your light, found my bottle in the night<br />Kept me in this fight, gave me second life<br /><br />And I won't back down<br />I won't turn around and around<br />And I won't back down<br />Doesn't matter what comes crashing down<br />I'm still gonna stand my solid ground<br /><br />And I sing Hallelujah ripped through my veins<br />I heard the hammer drop<br />My blood in the rain<br />Hallelujah came like a train<br />When all is lost<br />All is left to gain<br /><br />Hallelujah<br /><br /><br />This is the song I am singing in life right now. This is me NOT backing down. I am done with the past and all it entails. I am excited to get on with this crazy life.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-83309042907143078342007-05-03T17:31:00.000-07:002007-05-03T17:43:45.658-07:00Arrogance...<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/S3010990.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><br />My Anti-Arrogance Face<br /> <br />ar·ro·gant [ árrəgənt ] <br /><br />adjective <br /> <br />Definition: <br /> <br />proudly contemptuous: feeling or showing self-importance and contempt or disregard for others<br /> <br /><br />We need less arrogance in the world. That is all.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-73700326969550146082007-04-30T11:46:00.000-07:002007-04-30T12:46:40.987-07:00HeroesThe idea of Heroes has been on my mind the past few days. I went to campus worship last night and we sang "Came to my Rescue" by United. Also, I, in my love for John and Staci Eldredge's books I have recently considered rereading "Captivating", in which women needing a hero is discussed. Finally, I was talking to a friend last night and she randomly read me a quote about heroes from "Flags of Our Fathers", by James Bradley. The book is about the battle at Iwo-Jima during WWII, and the six men that courageously raised the American flag. Here is the quote/passage from the book:<br /><br />"Today the word "hero" has been diminished, confused with "celebrity." But in my father's generation the word meant something.<br /><br />Celebrities seek fame. They take actions to get attention. Most often, the actions they take have no particular moral content. Heroes are heroes because they have risked something to help others. Their actions involve courage. Often, those heroes have been indifferent to the public's attention. But at least, the hero could understand the focus of the emotion. However he valued or devalued his own achievement, it did stand as an accomplishment (Bradley, p.396)."<br /><br />In addition to the previously stated evidence that the topic of "heroes" has been on my brain, upon studying for a New Testament final I became engrossed in reading Hebrews through Revelation entirely last night. Nine glorious NT books. Hebrews kicking it off with a New Covenant and pioneers of faith, and Revelation ending with a bang! Lets just say i'm a little inspired right now (understatement). This concept of heroes is fueling me. Why? Glad you asked. I'll start with Hebrews.<br /><br />Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Rahab, Gideon, David, Samuel, the prophets and Jesus (the greatest of all) were all heroes. Every single one of them accomplished great things because they trusted in the promises of God. Here is the kicker though: Every one of them died before seeing a result, or the promise fulfilled (Hebrews 11:13).<br /><br />Revelation. Satan is goin' down! This book is intense. It is ridiculous that in my 16 years of being a "Christian" I have never read through Revelation completely. I have only read bits and pieces because I have heard the ending so many times. Pathetic, I know. I never knew just how much of the detail I hadn't heard before. Anyway, Revelation is all about God rescuing his people through the second coming of Christ, and fighting evil until he, somewhat effortlessly, but extravagantly casts Satan and his angels in to the pit of hell forever. Why? to restore His kingdom with a New Heaven and New Earth. I’m so excited to see God throw down with Satan! God is our hero!<br /><br />Rescuing is something we all need. From the time of our birth to the day we die we need a Savior. The point is this: Hallelujah! The saved have been rescued from hell by a hero, named Jesus. Jesus is not a celebrity. He, along with others in the Bible suffered for the rescuing of humanity. Again, Hallelujah!Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-15321583894724732932007-04-27T21:36:00.000-07:002007-04-27T21:43:38.419-07:00This one gets me..."Worlds Apart" - Jars of Clay<br /><br />I am the only one to blame for this<br />Somehow it all ends up the same<br />Soaring on the wings of selfish pride<br />I flew too high and like Icarus I collide<br />With a world I try so hard to leave behind<br />To rid myself of all but love<br />to give and die<br /><br />To turn away and not become<br />Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves<br />more deeply than the oceans,<br />more abundant than the tears<br />Of a world embracing every heartache<br /><br />Can I be the one to sacrifice<br />Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow<br /><br />To love you - take my world apart<br />To need you - I am on my knees<br />To love you - take my world apart<br />To need you - broken on my knees<br /><br />All said and done I stand alone<br />Amongst remains of a life I should not own<br />It takes all I am to believe<br />In the mercy that covers me<br /><br />Did you really have to die for me?<br />All I am for all you are<br />Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart<br /><br />[Additional lyrics:]<br /><br />I look beyond the empty cross<br />forgetting what my life has cost<br />and wipe away the crimson stains<br />and dull the nails that still remain<br />More and more I need you now,<br />I owe you more each passing hour<br />the battle between grace and pride<br />I gave up not so long ago<br />So steal my heart and take the pain<br />and wash the feet and cleanse my pride<br />take the selfish, take the weak,<br />and all the things I cannot hide<br />take the beauty, take my tears<br />the sin-soaked heart and make it yours<br />take my world all apart<br />take it now, take it now<br />and serve the ones that I despise<br />speak the words I can't deny<br />watch the world I used to love<br />fall to dust and thrown away<br />I look beyond the empty cross<br />forgetting what my life has cost<br />so wipe away the crimson stains<br />and dull the nails that still remain<br />so steal my heart and take the pain<br />take the selfish, take the weak<br />and all the things I cannot hide<br />take the beauty, take my tears<br />take my world apart, take my world apart<br />I pray, I pray, I pray<br />take my world apartAmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-76627626295245271372007-04-27T13:35:00.000-07:002007-04-27T13:43:52.977-07:00Flying Colors!<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/ati.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><br /><br />So, pretty much I'm AMAZING! Haha! As a nursing student I am required to take ATI placement tests to progress in the nursing program. Praise God for the 91.7% I made on my first ATI test! Look out junior year! Here I come!!!Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-16595948390068932752007-04-26T20:03:00.000-07:002007-04-26T21:42:39.720-07:00UglySo, I just read over a blog post that I wrote back in March. I believe it was titled, "A Familiar Psalm." Anyway, when reading it over I laughed, and then almost cried. Why? Because I said this:<br /><br />"I encourage you to ask God to investigate your life. When you do make sure you're prepared for the ugly. Be ready for him to do as you ask. See what is in there that he needs to break."<br /><br />Upon writing that blog I prayed that God would investigate my life and show me the things that needed to change. I was apparently NOT ready for the ugly. Everything, seriously everything since that day seems to have surfaced. The ugly has been, and continues to come out in me. I can't tell all, but I will explain some of the things I have been going through.<br /><br />Choices. I have made so many bad ones lately. When given the opportunity to lay down my flesh - to really seek what God would have me do, I have failed! MISERABLY! I have done things that do not reflect my true character. I have given over to my flesh with the mindset, "It doesn't matter because I've never done it before. So what if I act like the world for just a little while. So what if I give in to sin." Wow! Who the crap am I anymore?<br /><br />Using people. For attention. For emotional backing. Even subconsciously (yes, it is possible). Wow! Again, who am I?<br /><br />Selfish. This kind of goes along with using people. It is so easy to get caught up in what I want. I have to look out for myself right? If I don't, who will? Still, I can look out for myself-guard my heart without stepping on others in the process.<br /><br />Ugly. I am reminded lately just how human I am. No matter how much good I do, I am human, and I sin...ALL THE TIME! I am NOT okay with inside ugliness. I am not okay with the way I have been living.<br /><br />On the flip side:<br /><br />Grace. Thank God for his unfailing, never-ending, overwhelming grace. I praise Him because he forgives me. I know that he loves me despite everything.<br /><br />Discipline. I am being disciplined by God. Maybe not in the physical, but definitely in my spirit. I am daily convicted. With this discipline comes redemption. Thank God for redemption!<br /><br />I am tired of being ugly.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-15426530235194294022007-04-04T11:54:00.000-07:002007-04-04T12:18:51.998-07:00fort-tastic<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/fort2-2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /></a><br />Outside View<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/fort3-2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /></a><br />Inside View<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/Fort1-2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /></a><br />I love fort building!<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"></a><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/fort4-2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /></a><br />Crazy girls!<br /><br />Thats right! I <em>STILL</em> build forts.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-19763921236872923722007-03-25T00:07:00.000-07:002007-03-25T01:09:38.708-07:00Surviving vs. Thriving<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/gasguage.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I hate it when the gas light in my car comes on. It is so frustrating. It means that I have to reach into my tiny, college-student bank account and pull out a whopping $2 dollars and change per gallon to fill up. You know what though? When I am short on cash I let my car run on "E" for a while. I have discovered that I have about 30 miles before I need to be concerned. To this day I have never broken down. This is a dangerous way to go about things. I find that this habit of "running on empty" has poured over into other areas of my life.<br /><br />There is a HUGE difference between living life and living life well. It is the difference between Surviving and Thriving.<br /><br /><strong>Survive:</strong> to remain alive or in existence or able to live or function, especially succeed in staying alive when faced with a life-threatening, to come through a life-threatening experience or a period of difficulty and remain alive, in existence, or in a previous position or life (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">encarta</span>.com).<br /><br />I have decided that this word bothers me. Why? It bothers me because it is "just enough". To simply "remain alive" or "exisit" is pathetic. I regret to inform you that this is where I am at right now. I am surviving. I am exhausted. I am worn out. I am spiritually at the point where I am in the Word only enough to keep me going. I lack encouragement. I feel guilty because I desire to encourage others, but cannot give what I do not have! I lack confidence. I am on "E".<br /><br /><strong>Thrive:</strong> grow well: to grow vigorously and healthily, do well: to be successful and often profitable<br /><br />Thriving is my goal. To thrive is to go above and beyond "just enough". Thriving is excellence. It is being filled and able to fill others. It is SO hard to do. Why? Because thriving takes a lot of work, a lot of time, and a whole lot of God-seeking (which requires total surrender). I want to be more than ordinary. I desire to be different, set apart, held in high esteem. When I die I want people to remember me.<br /><br />I had a volleyball coach in high school that drilled into my head this idea: "Good enough is the enemy of excellence." In the context of this blog, "Surviving is the enemy of Thriving". Running on empty just won't suffice. I need a full tank!<br /><br />So, how do I obtain all I need to thrive? Honestly, I have only one answer at this time. All I know to do is to cry out to God with all my heart and ask him to send encouragement. I need to be filled. I need him to put in me the gasoline (whether encouragement from people or fulfilled promises) to drive his plans home.<br /><br />God,<br />I am so tired of living empty. Fill me. Only you know what I need. You have my heart. Have your way in me. -AmAmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-82197715831512279692007-03-14T22:53:00.000-07:002007-03-14T23:52:04.194-07:00a familiar psalm...Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong— then guide me on the road to eternal life (Psalm 139:23-24, The Message).<br /><br />"Investigate my life." This is a bold request. I think a lot of Christians pray this, but how many actually mean it? This investigation could yield results that quite frankly do not line up with what we think we should be doing in life. It is like saying, "God, break me, but don't make it painful." It just doesn't work that way.<br /><br />Psalm 139 encourages me so much because it reminds me that God knew everything about me before I was born. Every physical feature, emotion, weakness, career, family...the list just goes on and on. Also, it reminds me that God is bigger than my mind can comprehend. He investigates me. He has my case file on his desk. He knows my outcome. It is amazing to me that my life is not free-floating around where "just anyone" could dictate it. God knows. He created me.<br /><br />I encourage you to ask God to investigate your life. When you do make sure you're prepared for the ugly. Be ready for him to do as you ask. See what is in there that he needs to break. I'm going through it.<br /><br />I have had so much on my mind lately. God is teaching me a lot about myself. I'll have more soon. Leave comments if you'd like. I love feedback.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-48776471859879734922007-02-21T22:41:00.000-08:002007-02-21T22:50:33.275-08:00Twitterpated.<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/bambi.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" /></a><br /><br />Spring is drawing near and I admit that I am <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">twitterpated</span>! I am loving this moment in time.<br /><br />Thanks Bambi for the perfect adjective for today!Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-68852599230274628942007-02-18T00:39:00.000-08:002007-02-18T00:59:54.329-08:00Serving.There is a Zig Ziglar quote that has been on my mind lately. It goes a little something like this...<br /><br />“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want”<br /><br />Wow. Serving is such a huge deal! I was listening to John Maxwell speak yeaterday and he talked a lot about different encouragers in the Bible, and what they would say if they could run one lap of life with you. He talked about Rebecca, and how she not only provided water for one of Abraham's servants, but also for his ten camels. That is a lot of water! Anyway, the point was that serving others "generously" should be our goal. I like how this quote matches up with what John Maxwell was saying. <br /><br />So many times in life I think about me first. I am learning more and more that this world has nothing to do with me. I am only here to worship my Creator, share his name, and serve others. Service is the very essence of Jesus. He never did anything for himself. He always looked out for people. I desire to be this way. I desire to go out of my way, uncomfortable as it may be, for others. If I help others get what they want out of life (keeping in mind that it lines up ethically) I will be blessed in return. <br /><br />Just something to think about. Go out of your way for someone today. Open a door. Smile at them. Encourage them. That's all.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-17719696853303905662007-02-09T22:31:00.000-08:002007-02-09T22:32:01.898-08:00my humps<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3UQCS5pLsCE"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3UQCS5pLsCE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-83426488709817920172007-02-09T11:32:00.000-08:002007-02-04T00:20:26.305-08:0010 random things...It is Friday afternoon. I am done with school today and it is pretty amazing I survived this week! Ahhh!!! Crazy Nursing School times (which I am totally in LOVE with!!!). Anyway, here are some random things on my mind...<br /><br />1. I'm probably a little behind the rest of the world, but I have discovered a new delight in the musical soundings of John Legend. So much so that I got the two cd's he has put out. This man is awesome! "Ordinary People" and "Stay with You" are my two favs so far. Go have a listen.<br /><br />2. I am ADDICTED to high heels! I am short...they help. Ha ha! That is not the only reason why. I like to dress well. I always feel a bit prettier with my pointy-toe, sleek, up-to-the-knee, black boots, or my pink sued pumps on! I probably wear heels 5 days out of the week. Praise God for sexy little heels!<br /><br />3. I am wearing a green sweater right now and my eyes match. LOVE IT!<br /><br />4. I am a dork. I have discovered that I laugh at my own jokes more than other people do. Oh, well.<br /><br />5. I don't think Tyra Banks is fat...as a recent magazine has accused her of gaining 40lbs. Go Tyra! You look AMAZING!<br /><br />6. Studying at Nordaggio's Coffee with a chai in hand makes me love the college life even more!!!<br /><br />7. Grey's Anatomy IS a good show! This season has been an emotional one. Thanks ABC.<br /><br />8. Conversation hearts are the highlight of Valentines Day...when you don't have a Valentine. I love those sugary little delights. I think "Fax Me" is my fav. Ha. <br /><br />9. I love the song "Photographs and Memories" by Jason Reeves. It is bittersweet for me. It reminds me of loving and missing and goodbyes.<br /><br />10. Leave a comment for me. I like it. You'll be the highlight of my day if you do so. ; )<br /><br />...thats all for now.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34082206.post-38735245498994899572007-02-03T23:21:00.000-08:002007-02-04T00:20:26.346-08:00A Love that Lasts.<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f350/am0409/oldkindalove.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting" /></a><br />I long for love that lasts. Such love has many faces. Some of which I have seen in my own life lately. I would like to give you a glimpse of what I am talking about.<br /><br />I love elderly people. There is so much about them that fascinates me. For example, their life stories surpass any story I could tell at this point in my life. They have seen the world go through drastic changes. They have experienced the trends, styles, technology, and music evolve. However, the thing that stands out most, in my mind, is their love. Now, I know this is a very general statement, and I am aware of the assumptions I am making, but it seems to me that people of very old age have seen a different side of "true love" than anyone in my generation has. Believe it or not, sex is not the priority of most elderly couples right now. Companionship is. Being alive is. It is often the case among the elderly that when one person dies the other partner doesn't live much longer. They simply CANNOT live without one another.<br /><br />Another face of love: missions. There are so many hurting people in this world. Feeding them is love. Praying for them is love. Getting outside the "America is the greatest" box is a form of love for those who are not able to live the "American dream". The Bible says in Matthew 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay his life down for his friends." Jesus died for ALL sin, for ALL people. True love is scarce in this world.<br /><br />God is love. I think this is the big one for me right now. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of Christ. There is no greater sacrifice of love than God sending Jesus to save us from eternity in hell. Loving God is, in my mind the MOST important, and most meaningful love.<br /><br />I feel like my generation has made the word "love" just another word. It is said too much in a romantic context, and not enough to the people at the end of their rope. We say, "I love movies. I love chocolate. I love things that are blue. I love you - so have sex with me." We have degraded the word to movies, food, preferences, and sex. What is REAL LOVE? What does it look like? Smell like? Does it FEEL or DECIDE or both? Do we mean it? So many questions.<br /><br />The point is this: As Seven Day Jesus sang, "Everybody needs love." We need REAL love. Make your love mean something.Amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08550905218156992672noreply@blogger.com0