careless signals and clarity...

The past few weeks I have observed a very common problem. This problem can be very costly. This is a journal entry I wrote a few weeks ago. I have read over it a few times since then, and it seems more relevant now than ever. Note: I have struggled with this before, and I see it in my own friends, on TV. and even in people I don't know. I hope you can see that my heart is for this problem to change.

The Topic: Careless Signals and Clarity

Careless signals. I see this so much these days. It's so common, and so sad. The question: "Why can't we all just say what we mean?" I am so exhausted with seeing, hearing, and feeling hurt feelings over this issue. It is so hard for us to say something purposeful, and then follow through with it. There are many avenues I could travel with this. Honesty, in general, if full of bunny trails. I want to focus in on boy/girl relationships.

My Journal Entry: Careless Signals and Clarity, November 10, 2006

It seems to be the case with so many people lately that we say and do things we don't mean. If everyone says, "Honesty is the best policy", why aren't they up-front? It seems easy to just say what you want to say, and then act it out. There is a problem with this though. We are flawed. We are human, and we say and do things without thinking about them first. We speak, but we do not follow through. We act, but then we have to apologize. It is so hard to communicate effectively.

I see this most in guy/girl relationships. There is a lot of self-fulfillment (flesh-fulfillment) in being a flirt. However, many times flirting leaves one person thinking "relationship", and the other walks away without a second thought. In some cases flirting is meant to start a relationship. I am focusing on careless flirting. I think everyone is guilty of this at some point in life. We do it to fill our emptiness, to make us whole. We do it because we are afraid to be alone. Oh, how we are flawed!

The glory of this realization for me is that my flaws point out God's perfection. God cannot lie. He always follows through. God's perfection is something we should strive for. He is the best example of honesty and follow through. God is the only thing that can complete us.

I long for the day when guys and girls alike can be purposeful with words and actions. I desire to see "real men" and "real women". "Real men" are pursuers. They lead with purpose and integrity. They have character. They avoid instant gratification in order to honor the woman they go after. "Real women" know their value. They do not tease men. They are modest. They live with purpose, and value purity.

Another message in this tangled web is friendship. Value your friendships!!! Men, be careful not to lead us on. There is a fine line between "nice guy" and "interested". Women, be modest, and don't tease. Men and women, honor each other with honesty. Be intentional.

- Am

I am fully aware of the "preachiness" of this blog. This has been on my heart for a while. I hope you can relate.