careless signals and clarity...

The past few weeks I have observed a very common problem. This problem can be very costly. This is a journal entry I wrote a few weeks ago. I have read over it a few times since then, and it seems more relevant now than ever. Note: I have struggled with this before, and I see it in my own friends, on TV. and even in people I don't know. I hope you can see that my heart is for this problem to change.

The Topic: Careless Signals and Clarity

Careless signals. I see this so much these days. It's so common, and so sad. The question: "Why can't we all just say what we mean?" I am so exhausted with seeing, hearing, and feeling hurt feelings over this issue. It is so hard for us to say something purposeful, and then follow through with it. There are many avenues I could travel with this. Honesty, in general, if full of bunny trails. I want to focus in on boy/girl relationships.

My Journal Entry: Careless Signals and Clarity, November 10, 2006

It seems to be the case with so many people lately that we say and do things we don't mean. If everyone says, "Honesty is the best policy", why aren't they up-front? It seems easy to just say what you want to say, and then act it out. There is a problem with this though. We are flawed. We are human, and we say and do things without thinking about them first. We speak, but we do not follow through. We act, but then we have to apologize. It is so hard to communicate effectively.

I see this most in guy/girl relationships. There is a lot of self-fulfillment (flesh-fulfillment) in being a flirt. However, many times flirting leaves one person thinking "relationship", and the other walks away without a second thought. In some cases flirting is meant to start a relationship. I am focusing on careless flirting. I think everyone is guilty of this at some point in life. We do it to fill our emptiness, to make us whole. We do it because we are afraid to be alone. Oh, how we are flawed!

The glory of this realization for me is that my flaws point out God's perfection. God cannot lie. He always follows through. God's perfection is something we should strive for. He is the best example of honesty and follow through. God is the only thing that can complete us.

I long for the day when guys and girls alike can be purposeful with words and actions. I desire to see "real men" and "real women". "Real men" are pursuers. They lead with purpose and integrity. They have character. They avoid instant gratification in order to honor the woman they go after. "Real women" know their value. They do not tease men. They are modest. They live with purpose, and value purity.

Another message in this tangled web is friendship. Value your friendships!!! Men, be careful not to lead us on. There is a fine line between "nice guy" and "interested". Women, be modest, and don't tease. Men and women, honor each other with honesty. Be intentional.

- Am

I am fully aware of the "preachiness" of this blog. This has been on my heart for a while. I hope you can relate.

a few things on my mind...

I think I have felt a hundred different emotions today. It is a good thing I don't live by emotion because I would have run myself ragged. There are so many things on my mind, so I will try to organize them into something understandable. Just bear with me.

The first thing on my mind...

I am anxious. I know God has something in the works, but I have no clue about it. I'll draw this out for you. Picture it...

You are five years old and it is the day before Christmas. Assuming that your parents didn't brainwash you with a belief in Santa Claus, you are sitting in front of your Christmas tree shaking presents to try to guess what they are. You beg your parents to let you open one early, but the answer is no. But no doesn't mean no to you. You still sit and shake the presents. You ask yourself...why not now?

A few observations from the previous scenario...

1. You, as a child knew that your parents would provide a present for you. Come on! It's Christmas. They aren't going to forget to get you something. They aren't going to rub in your face the fact that everyone else has gotten a present. There is a present under the tree for you!

2. You are in the right place...in front of the tree.

3. The timing is wrong! It is the day BEFORE Christmas!

I feel like the five year old. The presents are taunting me - laughing, so to speak. Inch by inch I move closer to the tree. The second hand on the clock ticks ever so slowly. Everyone else is sleeping...resting...but not me. I am wide awake just waiting to see what I got! This is my life right now. I know God has something for me. I'm in the right place. I have totally changed my life to be in the right place. I feel like it is the right time, and in a sense it is. It is the right time for me to be away at school, and the right time for me to be figuring life out. Why isn't it the right time to know what I am supposed to do with my life? Is it going to happen tomorrow? The easy part about the Christmas scenario is that the five year old knows the exact day that the mysterious gift will be revealed. I don't!

Another thing on my mind...

So many emotions are stirred up when I am at home. I love my home, but I left for a reason. I left so I could move on. Being home stirs up some painful issues I have had to deal with in the past year. I feel like I am always running away from something.

And another...

I stay up way too late worrying about things.

I have so many more, but I am done for tonight.

truth or...

...LIE!

Which will you choose? Will you believe in what you know God has said, or will you believe the lies of the enemy? This is a tough one my friends. This is the deal breaker. You know why? Because the truth will always kick you in the bootie. It is what it is...the TRUTH! A lie can only buy you time. You know what else? Satan is a LIAR! He makes things look appealing. Those things are meant to kill you. Satan wants to attack you with the things that look like the truth.

For some of you...this may be review. Right now, this blog is my review. I guess I am reminding myself that I KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH IS! I don't have to guess on this one. God has spoken it to me...and He has spoken the truth in your life.

So, if we know the truth already, why do we so often fall for the lie? Hmm...good question. The answer: Sometimes the truth is not what we want to hear!!! We all know that we are better off living in truth. We all know that lies will end in the death of something (our reputation, relationships, spiritual death). We THINK that the lies will turn into truth if we fight hard enough (at least I have). This is why Satan is so successful with lies.
Some TRUTH for you...

1. God is the one who calls the shots. It doesn't matter how big of a fit you throw. He is not going to give in to the lies of the Devil! It is impossible for Him to do so.

2. The truth is God's best for you. Even if you don't see it - God loves you and He wants to give you your heart's desires and more!

3. In the long run the truth will cause you less pain.

Just a few late night thoughts. I am tired of being bombarded with lies. Satan has been whispering lies to me all week. So, as Jason Upton says in His song "Faith", "I say NO to the discouragement that keeps me down. I say NO to the things that hold me back from you". NO! NO to the lies! I won't believe them. The truth is written on my heart.

Post your thoughts on the issue!