We shall see...

There is this little thing called fear that creeps up on me every now and then. Today, I was caught off guard by it. The reason...

I used to be the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. At any moment you could look at me and see my thoughts written on my face. I could say anything to anyone without thinking about what it might mean. I threw my heart at a boy without a care, or a thought that it might not be safe with him. Maybe it was safe at the time, but I eventually found out that it wasn't. Ever since then I have been so guarded. I wear a mask with guys. I am guilty of leading a few of them on. I hate to disappoint. 

My dilemma is that I actually, genuinely like someone right now, but I am terrified of saying so - at least to his face. My expectations are very high. I am picky. I know what I am looking for in someone I want to end up with. I refuse to ever settle again. I just don't want to get my heart broken. 

So, here is this fear looming over me. Fear that I will not be good enough. Fear that I will, or he will fall short of expectations. Fear that things might actually go well. 

I guess we shall see...